Category Archives: bond movies

License to Bitch about James Bond

Here we are with another installment of my James Bond series. Are you bored yet? I’m not, but I worry about you. I mean, there are a whole lot of Bond movies, and we’re not even up to the 90s and Pierce Brosnan’s smug little face. Anyway, this time we’re talking about License to Kill (or Licence to Kill, depending). People hate Timothy Dalton as James Bond. This is the movie that made me like him, God forgive me.

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How do I manage to publish a blog post For Your Eyes Only?

It’s spy time again! Were you aware there is a Bond film titled For Your Eyes Only? I guess I shouldn’t tell you anything about it, since no one else is meant to know? Well, it’s pretty old, I suppose the statute of limitations is finished. It’s a Roger Moore film. I know the next film in our little series should be Thunderball, but I want to intersperse the Moore films with everything else. Basically so I don’t have to watch a bunch of Roger Moore movies all in a row. I’m sure you understand.

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All that gold and not one fashion designer on staff? For shame, Mr. Auric…

It seems as though I hardly need to tell you anything about Goldfinger, so famous is it. Other than the Brosnan movies, which I saw roughly as they came out (that is, as they came out months after release on home theater pay per view), I think Goldfinger is the first Bond film I saw. Probably it’s similar for others. But, hey, some of it is filmed in lovely Lexington, Kentucky. Felix eats at a KFC!

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Were you aware of it? Bullshit decoding devices account for 87.2% of all spy fiction.

It’s James Bond time again. I’m sure you’re excited. Yesterday we did Doctor No, the first film and, so far in my experience, the best. But the sequel is, I think, often held up as one of the best. From Russia with Love. Woo, and stuff.

We’ve got a ways to go with Connery, but it’s this film where he actually sets up his character the way he’d play it the rest of the time. James is in danger a lot, and still gets fucked up one or twice, but he’s never afraid and paranoid in the way he is in Doctor No. However, the plot continues from that film, with SPECTRE wanting revenge for Doctor No’s death.

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Put on your tuxedo! Ready your spider-mashing shoes!

So it’s the day of our lord Thanksgiving, 2012. I have eaten of the fatted bird, I have baked of the fatted pumpkin, and all that is left is the James Bond marathon on teevee. This happens every year. In fact, I might have planned on it. See, I saw Skyfall when it came out a few weeks ago, and like you do whenever you see a Bond movie, I considered all the Bond movies I had seen and those I had not. A friend came into town to see it with TheKittyMeister and me, and lo! he knows all there is to know about them. In about one minute he sketched all the movies, in order, and I saw I had seen many, maybe around half. And, well, despite my growth and my grown-up job and my dissertation and all that shit, I am still a child of the nerdery. I want to have seen all of anything I like, and though I don’t think about them all the time, I do really like the Bond movies and the phenomenon they represent. So, fuck it, why not? Let’s watch all the Bond movies, shall we? The first one’s Doctor No, right?

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